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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28797747">skinny</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/civillove/pseuds/civillove'>civillove</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>seblaine prompts from tumblr [115]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Glee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:08:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28797747</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/civillove/pseuds/civillove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>request from anon: Sebastian struggling with weight loss, Blaine’s famous now and his fans are less than kind.<br/>--<br/>Here’s the thing that Blaine’s always admired about Sebastian: he loves himself. Or, he supposes, he appears to love himself. He’s always been very confident and consistent about his looks. And Blaine knows that it sometimes buries something deeper, a struggle with self-acceptance and self-loathing. It’s complicated—Sebastian somehow is so full of himself while at the same time, he doesn’t seem to like things about his personality very much at all. It’s a double-edged sword; he pretends to be the best when he feels his worst. And maybe that’s because it’s a separated notion—how Sebastian feels about himself physically compared to the very real emotions deep within him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>seblaine prompts from tumblr [115]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/82780</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>74</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>skinny</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>1) sorry this took forever and a day but i am tired all the time since going back to work in person as;ldkfj enjoy! <br/>2) tw: body positivity issues, forgetting to eat bc stress, unintentional weight loss</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Here’s the thing that Blaine’s always admired about Sebastian: he loves himself. Or, he supposes, he <em>appears </em>to love himself. He’s always been very confident and consistent about his looks. And Blaine knows that it sometimes buries something deeper, a struggle with self-acceptance and self-loathing. It’s complicated—Sebastian somehow is so full of himself while at the same time, he doesn’t seem to like things about his personality very much at all. It’s a double-edged sword; he pretends to be the best when he feels his worst. And maybe that’s because it’s a separated notion—how Sebastian feels about himself physically compared to the very real emotions deep within him.</p>
<p>Blaine knows that Sebastian’s been working on the second half ever since high school, ever since he accidently hurt him with that rock-salt slushie. Even though Blaine gave in to his apology many times over, Sebastian’s had trouble accepting it—like he’s constantly waiting for that other shoe to drop. Like he knows he doesn’t really deserve Blaine’s forgiveness, regardless of how much Blaine <em>means </em>it.</p>
<p>But then at the same time, Sebastian’s confidence in himself and his abilities are completely on the other end of the spectrum. Sebastian knows he’s attractive—tall and well built, handsome, capable of getting things that he wants with just the right touch or just the right set of words. Sebastian’s on the skinnier side but Blaine <em>likes </em>that, just like Sebastian enjoys the fact that Blaine’s got a little bit of a tummy and thicker thighs. <em>Something to grab onto </em>as Sebastian says and always makes the softest of blushes appear on his cheekbones. Sometimes Blaine thinks about his crush on Sam in high school, working out with him in the gym and eyes sometimes fluttering over his bulky muscles. Kurt’s form was…well, devastatingly average. Sebastian’s body type is so different from that, leaner, more sinew than actual muscle.</p>
<p>Blaine rarely makes the comparison, however, because when Sebastian’s naked body is spread out beneath him—he’s never seen anyone so beautiful.</p>
<p>He’s seen other people notice this too, especially in the summer when Sebastian has tanks and shorts on, women and men alike gliding their eyes along the curves of his boyfriend’s body. Sebastian likes being noticed, he preens underneath the gaze like a sunflower turning towards the sun. Blaine <em>wishes </em>he could be as confident in his body as Sebastian is—he finds it hard to love certain parts of himself; his muffin top, the flabby skin along the inside of his thighs, the gentle swell of his stomach (parts Sebastian loves, parts his boyfriend always makes sure to kiss when they’re naked).</p>
<p>It’s taken a long time to build honest trust between them, to get Sebastian to open himself up and actively <em>share </em>things with Blaine even though he’d rather go about it alone. Sebastian can be so stubborn sometimes in how he goes about things, in trying to handle his problems solo—and for the most part, he does. But that doesn’t mean that Blaine doesn’t worry about him…especially lately.</p>
<p>Blaine’s been really busy with a few Broadway performances, which he knows was the goal in getting himself on stage. He wanted to be swept up in a whirlwind, he just didn’t figure it’d happen so fast. One show turned into three, which turned into Cooper reaching out to him and offering his agent and <em>now </em>there’s this whole opportunity to create an album of original songs (he’s still not sure about that yet but Tina and Sam have been so supportive). He just…when Blaine left Lima for New York, in search of belonging and to marry his high school boyfriend, he never considered that he’d end up here. With Sebastian Smythe in a healthy, happy relationship and taking big steps towards a famous future that he’d always pictured but never thought he’d have in the palm of his hand.</p>
<p>He never really expected his popularity to explode overnight but his brother tells him that it happens sometimes (apparently, especially, for Anderson men—there’s an eyeroll there but Blaine figures he’s not exactly wrong). His Instagram and Twitter ping consistently with new followers and eventually he has to turn his notifications off and the small group of supporters that were usually friends and acquaintances that would wait for him after a show was over grows into a massive group that wants his autograph and to pose for pictures.</p>
<p>It's weird, to say the very least, but <em>well deserved </em>as Sebastian tells him.</p>
<p>His boyfriend’s been working hard lately, as well—he’s trying to be one of the youngest partners at his law firm and that’s no easy feat. Part of him wonders if they’re taking on too much all at once in their relationship but…it’s not like one of them can simply slow down. They’re both on the fast track for what they both want.</p>
<p>But Blaine’s worried about Sebastian running himself ragged—he’s barely home for dinners, he’s waking up earlier than him to get out of the apartment before Blaine’s awake and he doesn’t take the time to <em>relax. </em>Blaine’s one to talk, he knows, he’s written the ‘how-to’ guide on doing too much in a short amount of time but…Sebastian’s starting to look a little worse for wear. Blaine’s concerned that he’s going to make himself sick.</p>
<p>“Maybe we should take a weekend off,” Blaine says, lying in bed one morning as Sebastian moves around the dark bedroom getting ready for work.</p>
<p>The taller smirks lightly, “I wish—I’d much rather be in bed with you than surrounded by towers of boxes in a dimly lit storage room.”</p>
<p>Blaine hums a little, reaching up to tug Sebastian right into bed, “Well then prove it.”</p>
<p>Sebastian grins, wrapping his arms around Blaine and kissing him. “Don’t you have rehearsal today, anyways?” He asks, his hand slipping up and under the fabric of Blaine’s t-shirt.</p>
<p>The shorter shivers, one of his legs sliding in-between Sebastian’s almost automatically, “It’s not until three, we have loads of time.”</p>
<p>A soft moan leaves Sebastian’s lips and god, if that doesn’t just <em>melt </em>into Blaine’s pores. Heat automatically gathers in his stomach and sinks lower and lower—and then Sebastian’s phone rings.</p>
<p>Blaine groans, his face finding the crook of Sebastian’s neck, “God, please ignore it.”</p>
<p>Sebastian lets out a gentle laugh, meaning he wishes he could but he digs his iPhone out of his pocket and picks up the call, “Yeah?” He sighs heavily and Blaine considers playing dirty, his hand nearly slipping in-between them but…he doesn’t want Sebastian to think he doesn’t consider his job important, “Alright, I’ll be there soon. Yeah.” He hangs up, tossing his phone onto the mattress.</p>
<p>Blaine pouts for dramatic effect as his boyfriend leans up and turns the bedside lamp on. He rests back against the mattress, watching Sebastian pull himself from bed and finish getting ready. A soft crinkle appears between his eyebrows because…it might just be a trick of the light, the shadows playing oddly on Sebastian’s skin but he looks…<em>thinner. </em>Sebastian’s relatively lean anyways but he doesn’t like how gaunt his frame appears.</p>
<p>Blaine sits up in bed, moving some pillows behind him so he can lean against the headboard, “Hey,” He says softly, gently taking Sebastian’s wrist so he can have his attention, “You feeling okay?”</p>
<p>Sebastian hums a little, running his thumb along Blaine’s knuckles, “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that? You’re the one who’s been pretty non-stop lately.”</p>
<p>Blaine smiles fondly, leaning forward so he can kiss the other’s hand, “Boyfriend duties detail that I also need to worry about you, okay?” He shakes his hand a little, “You’re always concerned about me—I want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself too. This law firm is taking little pieces of your soul.”</p>
<p>Sebastian laughs and sits down on the bed near Blaine’s thighs, “I don’t think it’s <em>that </em>bad yet—I’m not starring in the film <em>The Firm </em>any time soon.” He presses a kiss to Blaine’s forehead, just because he can.</p>
<p>Blaine chews on his lower lip, unsure of how to really say this, “I know when you’re stressed out that you forget to eat.” It’s not like Sebastian’s doing it on purpose, it’s not like when Blaine was struggling with his weight and self-image that he’d systematically cut out lunch sometimes.</p>
<p>Sebastian purses his lips and Blaine can see the struggle there, right behind his eyes, the way he’s biting down on an urge to tell him not to worry about it—or maybe with more bite, to mind his own business. Instead, he lets out a slow breath and shakes his head,</p>
<p>“Yeah, my eating habits have been a little of a mess lately. I promise I’ll get it back on track, try not to worry—you’re getting wrinkles.” Sebastian teases, leaning down to press a few of the worried lines streaked across Blaine’s brow with his fingers.</p>
<p>Blaine lets out a soft huff, the air splaying the curls resting along his forehead, “Fine, fine. Get to work.” He smiles a little, watching him leave. He sighs as he listens to the sounds of Sebastian leaving through the front door and it takes a while for him to fall back asleep.</p>
<p>But pressing his face against Sebastian’s pillow and breathing in his scent certainly helps.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>It gets a little worse before it gets better, as things regularly do.</p>
<p>Blaine wants to bring it up again—that he’s noticed Sebastian’s sweaters and t-shirts are hanging on him a little more, that he’s tightening his belt over his work slacks, that he’s rolling up his joggers so that they don’t sink below his hips.</p>
<p>He’s so busy, overworked, underpaid. It’s not like when Blaine tried to get rid of his muffin top, when he thought Sebastian wouldn’t notice because Kurt never did. He still remembers that day—Sebastian sinking to his knees in their bathroom and kissing every inch of him. It’s one of the only times Blaine’s felt completely and utterly perfect, beautiful.</p>
<p>It’s not like that.</p>
<p>There’s no self-loathing within Sebastian’s decisions, it’s pure forgetfulness and not enough time within the day to make sure everything gets done.</p>
<p>But that’s where Blaine comes in.</p>
<p>He gets home early from rehearsal, takes a shower, and decides he’s going to make a big dinner that he hopes Sebastian can take the time to eat at. So he makes two different types of pasta and a red and white sauce, not forgetting the garlic bread of course. It’s later when Sebastian comes home, but there’s a soft smile on his boyfriend’s face when he wanders into the kitchen that makes it completely worth it.</p>
<p>“I’ll lock your briefcase in the bathroom, if I have to.”</p>
<p>A soft laugh leaves Sebastian’s lips as he leans down to kiss Blaine, “Won’t be necessary, let me just change.”</p>
<p>Blaine hums, getting everything ready so that they can eat at the coffee table in the living room. Usually they huddle around the kitchen counter or the dining room table but Blaine’s trying to make this as comfortable as possible. Besides, if they eat dinner in the living room, there is a high probability that Sebastian will just melt into the couch and practically become a part of it. They can watch a movie, take the rest of the night off and resume their busy schedules and lives tomorrow morning.</p>
<p>Blaine looks up as Sebastian wanders back into the living room, sitting down in the corner of the couch. He’s never looked small before, especially given that his boyfriend is taller than him, but there’s something about his old Dalton lacrosse hoodie engulfing Sebastian that Blaine doesn’t like.</p>
<p>He swallows and pushes the two bowls of different pasta towards Sebastian, “Eat up.”</p>
<p>There’s this look on Sebastian’s face that Blaine’s having a hard time recognizing. Annoyance, maybe? Frustration definitely. Okay, maybe the two-word phrase was a little pushy and obvious but…Blaine’s not sure how to talk about the fact that he’s worried about him.</p>
<p>“Too much of a string bean for you now?” Sebastian asks and Blaine’s eyebrows scrunch together in confusion because <em>what? </em>He’s never said that.</p>
<p>Blaine’s grandmother is the only person who’s ever called Sebastian a string bean, his mother ‘a tall glass of water’ but definitely not in a way that was ever insulting. The way Sebastian is saying ‘string bean’…there’s something painful there, <em>hurt </em>that he’s not sure where it’s coming from.</p>
<p>“What?” He asks after a moment, Sebastian picking at pasta in his bowl and avoiding Blaine’s eyes, “No, of course not. I’m…” He looks down at the food prepared, he didn’t want Sebastian getting the wrong impression from this, “Why would you say that? You know that’s not what this is about.”</p>
<p>Sebastian’s clearly upset about <em>something </em>if he’s being passive aggressive but Blaine just doesn’t get where it’s coming from. The last thing he wants is for some sort of argument to start when they’re both so tired, overworked and rundown from their hectic lives.</p>
<p>“Really?” Sebastian asks, raising an eyebrow, “How am I supposed to know the intention when you’ve got a ton of comments on your twitter that say otherwise.”</p>
<p>And Blaine’s thrown for a loop on that one—it’s not even phrased as a question. His head nearly snaps back as if he’s been slapped because <em>what? </em>he hadn’t even thought about that.</p>
<p>Blaine lets out a long sigh, setting his pasta bowl down. So, that’s what this is about? This is why Sebastian’s mood has suddenly shifted? He knows what his boyfriend is talking about, of course, he’s posted a few photos throughout the week of him and Sebastian because he’s missed him in the business of their schedules. Some comments have been less than kind, mostly talking about how thin Sebastian’s looked lately.</p>
<p>And not just thin, but terrible, emboldened conversations about him being a <em>string bean, practically a sheet of paper, gaunt and ugly. </em>Blaine’s deleted some, reported others and commented back on a few that tell his fans, more or less, that they should be ashamed of themselves. This is the downside of his life slipping into the public eye, of having fans that follow his accomplishments—they also think that they can say anything they want about his personal life.</p>
<p>He expected some ridiculous comments about his <em>own </em>weight, but not about his boyfriend’s. And clearly Sebastian’s seen some of them.</p>
<p>He runs a hand through his curls and pinches the bridge of his nose, “I…I didn’t realize you saw those.”</p>
<p>Sebastian shakes his head, his shoulders folding in on himself a little—like he just wants to forget that he brought up this conversation altogether. “They’re kinda hard to miss.”</p>
<p>Blaine winces, rubbing the back of his neck as he turns a little on the couch to better face Sebastian, “I’m sorry—”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to apologize for other people.” Sebastian says quickly.</p>
<p>“I feel like I do. They’re…they don’t matter.” Which is easy to say when he’s not the one being talked about but he wants Sebastian to understand that, in the long run, those comments mean <em>nothing. </em>The taller nods but doesn’t really say anything, picking once again at his pasta instead.</p>
<p>Blaine licks his lips; he really hopes this isn’t taken the wrong way— “I didn't…think those comments would bother you.” Then, he quickly adds, “You're…you've always been so confident in yourself. About your body.”</p>
<p>Sebastian shakes his head, his back straightening just slightly as he sits there. “They don’t bother me.” And even if those words had been said with utter certainty, Blaine wouldn’t have believed him.</p>
<p>There’s a combination of emotions swimming in his chest, especially guilt for not realizing that Sebastian <em>could </em>be bothered with such commentary. Sebastian’s always handled himself above other’s words, above what others have thought about him—Blaine never thought he’d be self-conscious about this.</p>
<p>It seems too foolish to say outloud, Sebastian’s feelings are very valid. Blaine’s just <em>surprised, </em>if nothing else, because he’s always admired every single inch of Sebastian’s body, of how confidently he’s carried himself. But he supposes this is how it feels now, tables turned, for Sebastian’s always accepted Blaine’s thoughts about his own body even though he never sees the imperfections.</p>
<p>Blaine sets the pasta bowl down and inches closer on the couch, wrapping his arms around Sebastian’s frame. He feels his boyfriend tense up completely, a long few moments before he lets out a soft sigh and melts into the touch. Blaine turns his head a little, pressing a soft kiss on his shoulder before planting them along his jawline.</p>
<p>Sebastian tilts his chin so that their lips meet in a slow, gentle kiss.</p>
<p>Blaine presses their foreheads together and they stay like that, even after the kiss ends, drinking one another in.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Blaine says after a moment.</p>
<p>Sebastian shakes his head, swallowing as he pulls back slightly, “It really doesn’t bother me,” He says honestly, “Much. With the stress from work and the…few forgotten meals, I just let it get the better of me.”</p>
<p>Blaine cups Sebastian’s cheek, running his thumb along his cheekbone. He presses a kiss to the bridge of his nose before another on the corner of his mouth, “How bout you eat this dinner I’ve put together…and I’ll show you how perfect I think your body really is.”</p>
<p>Sebastian laughs suddenly, shaking his head as Blaine pulls back, grabbing both of their pasta bowls, “I must be rubbing off on you, you’re starting to sound like me.”</p>
<p>“You can rub off on me later,” Blaine says conversationally and with, surprisingly, a completely straight face. “How bout that?”</p>
<p>Sebastian grins, scooping up a forkful of pasta. “You got yourself a deal, Anderson.”</p>
<p>Blaine leans over and kisses sauce right off of his upper lip. </p>
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